For a little bit more...

A few students approached and thanked me for "joining Facebook"... :) Welcome my dears! But let me tell you I was on Facebook much before any of you even planned a career in engineering. You must all have been in school back then. This is a story set sometime in 2008. Here it goes:

Once upon a time, not very long ago, when I was still a Googler a new company christened Facebook was started by this young and dynamic entrepreneur called Mark Zuckerberg. Nobody in Google, not even in their dreams, thought that it might become so big some day that it'll give Orkut a run for its money. Orkut was really really big in terms of social networking - especially in Brazil and India. So when FB launched, Googlers laughed and ridiculed the site's appearance and content. Of course, some of us wanted to do a bit of social service to our company (though none at the top management had a clue about our altruistic intentions) by checking out the new venture in the social networking circles and sending unsolicited feedback to whoever wanted it. And we were happy - creating an account, taking a tour of the site, and feeling elated because it looked way below our very own Orkut. So we thought it'll also burst like all the social networking bubbles that came and went singing a zillion sad songs - MySpace, Hi5, and many others.

But somehow over the next few months, the scene changed drastically. A relatively young entrant which was started in 2007 with all its ridiculous and absurd features like Poke, Games, Feeds, Notes, Love symbols (I remember there was something similar to a Vampire's kiss), and such silly stuff was making its way into the hearts of millions of users. By the time I left my company, FB became so popular that in my Farewell Letter to friends and colleagues I had to promise that I'll be active on FB so we could keep in touch. I did keep my promise and I was totally hooked. There were umpteen attractions - Farmville, Fishville, Cityville, Forestville, X-Ville, Y-ville, this-ville, that-ville... and I had plenty of time on hand to indulge myself generously for a few hours everyday.

So, like I said earlier, I was active on FB for the past 5-6 years. I guess some students know it too. And they also knew that I was inaccessible online to students and my account was off-limits to the student community as I didn't respond to Friend requests from students earlier. There was a reason why I chose to keep it that way. I thought it was best to keep my personal life separate from my professional life.

So why am I accessible to students now? There're reasons, logical ones, as always! In the recent past I've realized how much my students have become a part of my personal life - it's very closely intertwined with my professional life at this point in time. I love them all as much as I love my own daughter, and I love being part of their world. And that happy and exciting thought made me create a world away from the rest of the world and have this little exclusive world of our own. Now this is my personal space too which is filled with not only lots of fun, laughter, and happiness but also sometimes with certain sad phases of life - the life that revolves around my children.

And to all my students - who has ever interacted with me (even once), made me learn patience, and also to lose my temper, taught me to love selflessly and generously, and how to connect with the GenNext, showed me how to enjoy life in today's world, and the joy of giving but expecting nothing in return, made me much more passionate about my profession, and smile a little more, changed my perspective about the world around, and, above all, made me a better person - for this, for everything and for a little bit more, I dedicate this post.

In memory of a mischief-maker

Originally written on November 26, 2012

Writing an obituary for a student is the worst thing that can ever happen to a teacher! Having come from a profession where we're considered above and beyond all emotions (of course with an exception of a teary-eyed and emotion-choked Arnab Goswami), I thought I'll take the shock, and the pain, without much difficulty. But that wasn't the case!

The fateful Tuesday morning (20.11.12) was like any regular one... or at least it started like one. It being a class-free day for me, we set out to get some work done at the bank. We went smiling, came out with the happy and hungry thoughts of invading the nearest dhaba for lunch before we work through the second part of the day. All was well and cheerful till we reached the dhaba when a good Samaritan colleague informed us that we're forbidden to go "there" as "a boy died there just now". Though the message was confusing and triggered a lot of questions in our minds, we turned the bike towards the office without another word.

Post lunch in the college canteen, I tried to squeeze out some more information from a senior colleague on the-boy-who-died. And what we got to know wasn't good news. A first-year student of the engineering college drowned in a nearby pond across the road. That was my first moment of shock. Seeing the expression on my face, S quickly rushed me out. First-year?! My only prayer since that moment was "I hope it's not somebody I know..." because I know quite a few first-year students personally.

The tension kept building up as nobody seemed to have a clue about the unfortunate kid. As the day passed and the evening set in, things slowly started seeing light and the name and other details got out. It was J bhai, one of our attenders, who broke the news to me. He didn't have much information except for the name of the boy who drowned. He then cross-checked the name and the spelling, along with the roll number, in my attendance register. My worst fears were confirmed. He was a student of my class... somebody who I knew - by his first name, middle name and last name - for the past 3 months and 4 days.

The moment was beyond shock, though that was the initial reaction as my brain went numb. Shock engulfed me suddenly and kept overwhelming. It felt as if all the energy drained out of my body. My feet, especially! As I dragged myself out of my room and down the stairs, the news was re-confirmed by two more colleagues. Though I saw a few of my students gathered near the dais, I had no courage to meet their eye, or talk to any of them... The bubbly me had deserted me for the moment and I just dragged on without a cheerful "Hello", "How're you?", "What're you all doing here?", "No class?" or "Good luck" for the next day's exam.

The nightmare had just begun as shock slowly gave way to pain. And pain was coming in waves. Everything around looked like a blur. I was talking, cleaning, arranging and re-arranging things mindlessly, watching TV - but nothing seemed real anymore. The only thing I was doing with focused attention was to trace the boy's FB account. I don't know what made me do it. But after over an hour's effort, I found him - smiling as mischievously as he always did - on FB. Reality striking, I started prying into his not-so-private life by checking his photographs, friends' comments - in fact trying to find out everything 'about him'. Ironical as it may sound, his favorite quote is "Life is too short. So why don't you love me before we run out of time." And then I found a comment posted by his friend, posthumously, "Miss you balli... aise bhi koi chhod ke jaata hai kya". And that really broke my heart.

The first wave of severe pain hit me just when I was about to doze off. The kid's smiling face, both on and offline, and his friend's comment kept coming back to me - depriving me of my usual sound sleep. With a heavy heart and eyes that kept welling up, we reached the college next morning to attend the condolence meeting at the institution. The garlanded photo on a stool with flowers placed in a heap in front, and the overpowering aroma of the incense kept confirming, and re-confirming, the tragedy that could have been evaded had he been a bit less reckless, and a bit more careful.

Now what can I say about Pradip? He was like any happy-go-lucky teenager - dark, thin, short, smiling, reckless, mischievous and talkative. He was neither brilliant nor studious, but he was smart. Not the kind of student teachers would take note of. With a high-pitch, and slightly feminine, voice, he used to keep yakking in one of the last rows. So he was one of the first students whose names I made it a point to know; warned him a couple of times and threatened to throw him out of the class if he "cannot stay quiet". The last I chided him was two weeks earlier when I told him he'll not be allowed to write the exam if his attendance percentage doesn't improve... :( And improve, it did not. He still bunked classes despite the warning.

He knew he wouldn't be allowed to write the exams because of his poor attendance. He knew and he came prepared... with a towel, a pack of cigarettes, the company of two friends and the thrill of swimming - in a lonely deserted pond amidst nature. The two friends who survived will certainly be scarred for life. And so will be his parents. His father (especially) who works as a security guard in one of the prestigious software companies in Bhubaneswar... who must have dreamed that his son will become an engineer, and someday will work in the same company!! The father's dreams shattered, the mother's heart broke, and the sister's hopes vanished... all in a matter of a few seconds.

Why? Why? I wonder if it's his age, his adventurous spirit or his reckless attitude that predominated and prompted him to take a swim in untested waters on that fateful day! I'm yet to get an answer, and the only person who can answer it right cannot do so - ever again! A moment of thrill cost him his precious life, nipped it in the bud and sucked the life out with ease. Serish is so right. Such is the fickleness of life!

All I can say now is - be happy, no matter where you are! And may your soul rest in peace!!